polarity, opposites, dualism

in the pursuit of happiness

There are common misconceptions when it comes to happiness, what we individually or collectively perceive will be different to most people when asked the question, ”What is happiness”?

Happiness is not something that is earned or deserved. Happiness is not a moral issue either, any more than the circulation of the blood is a moral issue. Both are necessary to our health and well-being. Happiness, for me, is simply ”a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant and good” If you wait until you deserve to think pleasant thoughts, you are likely to think unpleasant thoughts concerning your own unworthiness. ”Happiness is not a reward of virtue,” said Spinoza in his book ETHICS.


Many sincere people are deterred from seeking happiness because they feel it would be ”selfish” or ”wrong”. Unselfishness does make for happiness, for it not only gets out minds directed outward away from ourselves and our introspection, our faults, our sins, troubles or pride in our goodness, but it also enables us to express ourselves creatively and fulfil ourselves in helping others. One of the most pleasant thoughts for any human is the thought that he is needed, that he is important enough and competent enough to help and add to the happiness of some other human. However, if we make a moral issue out of happiness, and conceive of it as something to be earned as a sort of reward for being unselfish, we are very apt to feel guilty about wanting happiness. Just think about this for a second…..?

If we are rewarded for being unselfish, the next logical step is to assume, the more miserable we make ourselves, the happier we will be. The premise leads to the absurd conclusion that the way to be happy is to be unhappy. If there is a moral issue involved then it is on the side of happiness rather than unhappiness.


Happiness is produced, not by objects, but by ideas, thoughts and attitudes which can be developed and constructed by our own activities, irrespective of our environment. No one can be 100% happy all of the time, we would all be miserable if we were. BUT…we can, by taking thought and making a simple decision to be happy and think pleasant thoughts most of the time. This is what I have discovered over recent times more than ever. Looking within myself to find peace and happiness has helped me to come to terms with the turmoil of having to leave my family home, and not being able to see my children daily like it used to be. Finding happiness has been more of a journey in recent times more than any time of my life. A decision I have taken to rid myself of negativity around me, situations which had me questioning myself and my worth, this has been a decision I have not taken lightly. My happiness was always going to be the most important I did for me, something that those I love around will benefit from.


The attitude for ”happiness” is the same attitude for ”success” that I have previously discussed in an earlier post. We, as humans are ”goal striving” beings, we function normally and naturally when oriented towards some positive goal or striving towards a desirable goal. Happiness is a symptom of normal, natural functioning. When we are striving for a positive goal or a desirable outcome, we tend to feel happier, regardless of circumstances. Now, this is my point, and where I come to my final thought and conclusion. This belief and goal striving desire has led me to look inside, asking ”what do I want out of life”? ”What would really make me happy”? Without forcing the outcome or desperately in need of change in my life, question things by all means but always remember, whatever situation you find yourself in, things can change dramatically with the right attitude and focus. Being happy within yourself and loving yourself more is a great start.

3 thoughts on “in the pursuit of happiness”

  1. My relatable feelings and findings from research into the self and how our internal belief system can drive us in many ways. We can take inspiration from many forms around us but we also need to be very mindful of the negative influences and following the wrong people just out of loyalty. It’s our life we live and it’s up to us to attempt to live our best life.


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